Reality Stars – SNL

Reality Stars – SNL

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RAr8A_gQfR4


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>> HEY, SHOULD WE START EATING OR WAIT FOR ROBIN AND DANE?
>> I DON'T KNOW, ARE THEY STILL COMING, THEY'RE TWO HOURS LATE.
>> WELL, I GUESS, NOW THAT THEY'RE BIG REALITY TV STARS,
THEY THINK THEY CAN SHOW UP WHEN EVER.
>> OH, COME ON, DON'T DO THAT. THEY'RE OUR FRIENDS AND THEY'RE
GREAT — ON
"KINGS AND QUEENS OF SANTA CLARITA."
>> DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE CHANGED?
>> I'M SURE THEY'RE THE SAME OLD DOWN TO EARTH PEOPLE WE
REMEMBER. >> OH MY GOD, WE'RE LATE, WE'RE
THE WORST. >> WE SUCK SO BAD, SO HARD, AND
FOR SO LONG. I NEED HUGS FROM EVERYONE.
>> SO DO I, HUGS! I GOT TO HUG MY GIRL.
>> AND WHERE ARE MY BROS? LET ME PUNCH YOUR BUTTS AND SLAP
YOUR SACKS. >> OH, WOW.
>> YOU GUYS, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE OUT OF
L.A. AND BACK IN FLAGSTAFF WITH MY NORMIES.
>> GIVE ME REG PEACE — EVER — OVER HOLLY-WOO-WOO
ANYDAY. >> WELL, I WOULD OFFER YOU A
DRINK, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ALREADY WALKED IN WITH FULL
CLASSES OF GLASSES OF WINE. >> WE DID.
GET OUT! WE JUST STARTED OUR OWN LINE
WEIGHT LOSS WINE. HOW COOL IS THAT?
>> YEAH, IT'S CALLED SLIMFINDELS!
YOU GOT CAFFEINE, OLESTRA, AND ZINFIN IN IT.
>> YOU GET SO MUCH ENERGY, AND YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM 11 TIMES
A DAY. >> AND ANOTHER 11 AT NIGHT.
>> WOW IS THAT OKAY FOR YOUR SYSTEM?
>> OH YEAH, IT'S TOTALLY SAFE, >> WE BROUGHT BOTTLES FOR ALL OF
YOU. THE LABELS ARE WRONG THOUGH.
IT'S GOT KARLA FROM "THE CHEW" ON THEM.
>>> YEAH, SHE BACKED OUT. SO, THEY CAME TO US.
HOW TABOO IS THAT? >> YEAH. THAT'S GREAT.
YOUR FACES ARE DIFFERENT NOW. >> YEAH, THANK YOU, THEY ARE.
THEY REALLY ARE. >> WE GOT THE MOST EXPENSIVE
PROCEDURE FROM THE CHEAPEST DOCTOR WE COULD FIND.
>> IT CERTAINLY LOOKS LIKE THAT. >> AWE —
AWE — >> DO YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR DOG
DOWN? >> NO, SHE DOESN'T WALK, SHE
HATES IT. >> WALKING IS FOR BABIES, AND
YOU ARE PRINCESS. THE GROUND IS SO DIRTY FOR THIS
BABY. >> NO, SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT AND
NOW SHE CAN'T, SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE MUSCLES.
>> NO, THE LEG MUSCLE DON'T WORK.
>> GOD, IT IS SO GROUNDED BEING BACK HERE.
>> WELL SHOULD WE SIT DOWN AND CATCH UP?
>> YEAH, GREAT IDEA. YOU KNOW WHAT, OUR CAMERA CREW
IS OUTSIDE, DO YOU GUYS MIND IF WE JUST FILM A LITTLE OF IT?
>> LIKE US? YOU WANT US ON THE SHOW?
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, JUST US CATCHING UP AND TALKING.
IT WILL BE LIKE A SWEET BACK HOME MOMENT SHOWING PEOPLE OUR
ROOTS. >> YEAH, SURE, I GUESS SO, THAT
COULD BE FUN. >> TOTALLY.
COME IN GUYS, THEY'RE COOL WITH IT.
>> HEY GUYS, JUST ACT LIKE WE'RE NOT HERE, AND — ACTION.
>>> YOU ARE A MANIPULATIVE SKANK.
YOU WISH YOU HAD EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE.
>> WHAT? >> YOU NEED TO OWN IT, OWN YOUR
BS. >> EXCUSE ME?
>> HEY, DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT MY WIFE.
I OUGHT TO HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH MY DOG.
>> OH — HERE'S SOME PANTIES. >> YEAH.
>> JAY, NEXT TIME WEAR THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SHOWING YOUR CHOOCH
ALL NIGHT. MY POOR HUSBAND'S EYES ARE ABOUT
TO FLOP OUT OF HIS HEAD. >> I'M A MAN AFTER ALL.
>> WHAT IS HAPPENING? >> BUDDY, DON'T MAKE ME HIT YOU
WITH MY DOG. I WILL DO IT, PEANUT IS LOCKED
AND LOADED. >> WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO OUR
VOWS RENEWAL IN CATALINA. >> I DIDN'T KNOW.
>> WE DID IT WAS RIGHT AFTER I CHEATED ON HER.
EVERYONE WAS THERE. LITERALLY EVERYONE BE YOU, YOU
BITCH. >> ALSO MY WIFE CAN'T HAVE
CHICKEN! OKAY, WHAT IS THIS TOM?
>> IT'S CHICKEN. >> WHAT IS THIS BIRD?
>> IT'S CHICKEN, LIKE HE SAID. >> MY WIFE —
CAN'T — HAVE —
CHICKEN! >> I STOPPED EATING ANYTHING
THAT CAN TALK. >> IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW, YOU
WOULD KNOW THIS. I TOLD YOU WE OUT GREW THESE C
WORDS. >> AND CUT.
>> THAT WAS AWESOME. >> HEY THANKS, GUYS, FOR DOING
THAT. >> YEAH, OKAY, THEY'RE GOING TO
E-MAIL YOU ALL RELEASE FORMS. >> YEAH.
YEAH. >> CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM?
>> WHY, SO YOU CAN POOP OUT YOUR ENERGY WINE?
>> MAYBE, BUT MOSTLY TO DO DRUGS.


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